Being an Overcomer

I want to be an overcomer. Make me an overcomer. Am I an overcomer yet?

It is January 15th and we are right smack in the middle of the winter blahs. Can you feel them? It is 38 degrees and cloudy. I am in the warmth of my home but I am cold. And there is the blah feeling that starts at the top of my head and I can feel all the way to the big toe that is poking through a small hole in my sock. How can I overcome it? How can I stop wasting time on the internet doing nothing and do something that needs to be done? Get me out of the rut! I want to be an overcomer.

I heard a hilarious sermon yesterday. Wasn't much of a sermon...more of an exhortation. But the woman repeated something that is ringing in the back of my head still. Look up! Don't look down. Look up! Don't look down. When we live with our heads in the clouds...or with a heavenly perspective, everything looks different. When your head is in the clouds...you can see the sun.

Running was really difficult this morning. It was so hard to push through and get it done. I did almost. Got the speed part done...not the distance. But I ran 16 miles on Sunday. My longest distance yet. I already am an overcomer. Today if I don't get anything done, at least I will be looking up.

Ugh...here I am.

Do you ever feel like there are so many things that you should do, but you either don't feel like doing any of them, or you just don't know where to start. Blah. That is where I am today, this week, this winter. What is most annoying about this place is that I can't comprehend that this is okay. I am loved just where I am, just who I am. I don't have to do anything, be anyone, or say anything...and God loves me all the more. I don't get that. How can I change my attitude and receive this truth.

The thought that comes to mind is to just thank Him. Thank you God for my health and the health of my family. Thank you for my legs and my speed that enable me to run. Thank you God for my husband who puts up with my crap. Thank you for my kids and our great family. I believe that there are even greater things in store. Thank you for the monotony of my days. Thank you for the wealth that we have. We are so rich. Thank you for the poop stain on the carpet...Micah will eventually get trained. God, give me a grateful heart. Give me a grateful heart. Move in me with deep gratitude. I need you in my life and you appeared in your Son. Thank you Lord.

I will put one foot in front of the other today. And that is good enough.

I haven't done my 6 miles yet...not looking forward to it....just one more thing on my list of things to do. Here is my white flag...I surrender. I give up control.

Into the world of blogging

Here I go. Diving into the blogging world. What inspired me? I confess, sheepishly, I watched Julie and Julia the other night and thought to myself, I can do that. I can share my thoughts. I know, lame. But I like the idea of getting the thoughts out somewhere. Maybe no one will ever read them, maybe just my husband or maybe someone famous. Who knows. But I can do that. The only problem? I have a lot of things I am interested in...so what do I blog about? Well, its my blog, and I can write about anything. Right?

Today I dreamed about a lot of things. The top three: running my marathon in march, homeschooling my kids and having my house organized. Wait, one more, doing something awesome for God. Not for God- with God. See this is what my day is like. I never thought of myself as much of a dreamer...but lookie lou...maybe it is time for a little redefinition.

Well, I ran 4 miles on the treadmill. This is week 5 of training. I have to gear up for a 16 mile run on Sunday...my longest distance ever. It is daunting. My hip is a little tight. My shoes are only two months old...can't afford new ones. Will some more stretching help? I hope so. I remember an athlete's advice that it is much more mental than we realize. Lord, increase my mental endurance and peace. I saw the words, "I see His pleasure when I run" written on my back.

I sat down with Stephen today and read 3 chapters in his CCD book. We are catching up for the nine chapters that need to be read by Thursday for a meeting with the Rel. Ed. director. My kind of homeschooling. Put it off, put it off, hurry up and finish it. Ugh, big sigh. Big lie, not good enough. At least we did it. And I got to talk to my son about how we are born with sin and how only Jesus can cover that sin. Worth it.

Well, I am blogging instead of doing dishes and putting away Christmas decorations. I did buy baskets to put by the back door. One for shoes, one for our favorite hats/gloves, one for stuff we don't use very often, and one for wrestling stuff. I wonder how long before Micah pulls them off the shelf and dumps them out.

I can't say I have done anything awesome with God today. One foot in front of the other. Walking steadily. Hungry for more. I think I am okay with that. I think He is okay with that. You have made me for your glory. May I feel your pleasure over me when I run, not-homeschool, organize, or just sit on the couch.

Maybe tomorrow I will figure out how I can post some pictures.