So small

"Thank you for the cross. Thank you for your death. Thank you for the chance to live again. Thank you for your blood that always covers me. Cause every day I'm falling short of your glory. Thank you for the crown. Thank you for the nails. Thank you that your flesh was torn and that you tore the veil. Thank you for your grace displayed perfectly when you hung undeserved dying on a tree."

When I collect myself and take the time to reflect on the cross everything else seems so small. My sin, my debt, my struggles...it all becomes so small. Now, my hope is to keep my focus on the cross and not get distracted. I have spent so much time learning and hearing how important it is to remain connected to the Lord (ya know, the whole "I am the vine, you are branches"). The reality of maintaining that connection is so much more difficult. I can hear one piece of discouraging news and head downhill fast. Recently though I have heard some truths that have stuck, and I am so grateful.

Truth #1: God's plan is better than my plan. Even when my plan seems to be a really good idea with really great timing, I know that God's plan is better than mine. Part of this is understanding that He loves me...really loves me and He is good. I am a little dense in this area. But really, He only wants good things for me.

Truth #2 God's ways are true and just. This is from Revelation 15 and just sort of reiterates Truth #1...that's why I like it.

I lost sight of these things in the mundaneness of my morning today. So maybe I can understand the truth in the big circumstances and it is time to apply it to the little things. For example, when I get stuck in traffic and I want to scream at the top of my lungs while three little people cling to their seats in fear behind me. God's traffic plan is better than mine! Or maybe I should give myself more time to get places in rush hour traffice...or both.

"Place my hands on your hands and I dance with you. Place my feet on your feet and I dance with you. Lay my head on your shoulder and I dance with you. Jesus Christ, lover of mine. Jesus Christ, I can't wait to be with you." When even the small things can't get in between you and I.

Words from the Song: "Thank You" by Heather Clark

The Smell of Defeat.

I got out of bed this morning to look at the falling snow when I realized that what felt like a small bruise on my knee yesterday, felt more like an injury today. The clouds that are dumping massive amounts of snow on our city seem to have left a rather large deposit on my spirits as well. Ugh! I scream in my head. Ugh! Why me...wah, wah, wah. I think it began last night while praying for an increase in faith. I seem to have struck a little stone wall blocking me from stepping out of the boat. Although I used to run over hurdles at a pretty good speed this little wall seems insurmountable. What happened from my last blog when I was such an overcomer? Isn't it weird how you can fall or get stuck so quickly?

Quicksand comes to mind. I really don't know anything about quicksand...in fact, is quick sand actually real or can it only be found in the movies? I am not sure. Somewhere in the abyss of my brain I am reminded that when you are stuck in quicksand, the easiest way to get out is to not struggle. So fine! I throw my hands up. I give in and I stop my struggle. Psalm 40 "I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet upon a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God." Lord, I wait for you. Lift me out of the pit of unbelief and fear. Put in me a new song, one that calls out faith in others. May the blind eyes be open to see the depths of your love.

My knee is going to be fine. Going into week 10 of marathon training...if this is the first bump in the road, that is not so bad. On the agenda for tomorrow: 16 miles. Should I brave the snow or suffer on the treadmill. It is a tough call.